Most days I feel like I’m 1988 Melanie Griffith, a simple working girl with big hair just trying to have it all. A gay male feminist or whatever the feminist equivalent is of a gay male feminist. But some days I’m in a better movie and I’m Dolly Parton. Or Jane Fonda. Or Lily Tomlin. Every day is the same. I tumble outta bed and stumble to the kitchen, pour myself a cup of ambition, yawn and stretch, and try to come to life. Oh sure I have to deal with the occasional sexist, egotistical, lying, hypocritical bigot and even that pesky Roz, but this cast of colorful supporting characters just makes the journey worth the trip.
Having it all. What does that even mean? A house? A partner? A family? A career? Health? Happiness? Hobbies? A smokin’ hot bod? Check, check, check, check — reality check. I have the house and the partner and the family. But the career? Well, not exactly, but I do have a job that I like. I’m as healthy as someone who eats donuts and drinks beer can expect to be and because I eat donuts and drink beer I’m happy…and also have hobbies. As for the smokin’ hot bod…well, I haven’t been to yoga in two months and the other day I had to buy new pants.
Something had to give. I mean, I used to go to yoga 5 days a week. I also used to not have an eight year-old son. I used to produce and direct up to ten plays a year at my theater. I also used to not have an eight year-old son. Don’t misunderstand. I’m not making excuses or, worse, blaming Chris. I just don’t have the extra twelve hours a week right now to give to yoga or the additional four hours a night three to four days a week that the theater required. At least not if I want to help Chris with his homework or play at the park with the dogs or have a family dinner.
I need to find a balance and, when I do, then I can get back to yoga — maybe not 5 days a week, but two days a week seems reasonable. And while I will most certainly never again direct ten plays a year, I think I could manage to produce one or two small shows a season.
For now, I have this blog which affords me the opportunity to write (career!) and feeds my creativity (happiness!). As for that smokin’ hot bod, well, for the past few weeks Chris and I have been doing Wii Fit together — running, aerobics, even yoga — so when I finally do get my ass back in to that hot room, I might actually fit in to my yoga shorts.