Which One of You is the Mother? (The Book)

I decided to write a book. It is based partly on this blog, but the majority of it is new material because god knows Chris and Elijah have provided me with enough material for ten books. So the book…well, I’ve been proud of many things that I have written over the years but this book is undoubtedly the best thing I have ever written. Period. It’s funny, but also thoughtful, and it very possibly will make you cry at least three times. It is an important story that should be read.

When I finally do pull the trigger on it I hope you will read it and then encourage at least fifty more people to do the same …and not simply because I want people to read our story — a story absolutely worth reading — but also because I really want a beach house in Puerto Rico.

And now without further ado here is a synopsis of the book:

After fifteen years of up-all-night gay disco dance parties, Sean O’Donnell and his longtime partner Todd decided to trade in their leather chaps for mom jeans and start a family. In August 2012 the not-so ambiguously gay duo walked into a Pittsburgh-based adoption agency and said, “We’d like a child, please.” For the next several months they attended parenting classes, subjected themselves to probing FBI background checks, and completed enough paperwork to reforest the whole of the Amazon River basin. Despite lacking a magical baby-making vagina the pair successfully made omelets without eggs when in July 2013 they flew to Oregon to meet their seven-year-old son for the first time. No longer Sean and Todd they would now be forever known as Dad and Papa to the observant boy (“So that’s how you sleep.”) with a million questions (“Do you have a girlfriend?”, “Where do babies come from?”, “What’s gay?”) No sooner had they settled into their new roles when the stork returned the following year, delivering another boy who quickly proved that five-year-olds were basically talking babies who could use the toilet. Which One of You is the Mother? is the story of how two gay guys finally met the two kids who were always meant to be their sons. This is a book that celebrates a different kind of family who just happens to be like every other family on the block. Only gayer. And funnier.